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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member DawniFemale/Australia Groups :iconcalendarproject: CalendarProject
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Deviant for 8 Years
17 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 585 Deviations 14,257 Comments 23,286 Pageviews

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Achievements


Daily Deviations:
your teeth leave different scarswhat they didn't tell me--
the amnesiac is
61.8% water &
on watching the night
close its eyes on you,
I only know beauty;
maybe Anne Sexton was onto something
& for the woman shamed,
arise and breathe. Seabones
with taciturn eyes
after we lost him:
mermaid thirst for
cruelest love.
Your virginity is like an envelope,
a lover's observations on
post-it notes, cupping rice
always, and always.
Forgive This Grief (Miscarriage)My arms are weighted with her space,
a heaviness that won't compare--
her toes, her smile, her tiny face,
and the imagined white-blonde hair;
forgive this mother's grief for stolen dreams
and let alone these tears that stream.
Forgive this mother's grief,
forgive this mother's grief,
remember things aren't always what they seem.
I know it's wrong to yearn for them,
but those moments when you despair
would give to me what was unsent--
a life of burdens I wish I could wear.
Forgive this jealous heart that wants to share
the grumpy shouts, the unmade beds you bear.
Forgive this jealous heart,
forgive this jealous heart,
remember it's 'bout her, my sweet butterfly of air.
This heart still aches for my baby's weight,
and the screaming absence of her cry
opens anew an unhealed space
where all that lives is the question-- "why?"
Let this heart heal as we grow old
and if an outburst leaves you cold,
let this heart heal.
Let this heart heal,
butterfly babies are heavy to hold.

(August 31, 2013; April 26, 2014)

Daily Lit Deviations during 2014
I Am More Than BPDDon't tell me you know me better
than the people who've known me
for years. I know me too, and I know
to trust them with my sanity.
Don't tell me I don't need the hospital--
I wouldn't be here
if I didn't need the hospital. This is not
a playground and I am not
stupid. My emotional appendix
has burst and reality
tastes of copper; don't tell me
this is just
attention seeking.
All requests for help
involve seeking attention.
The patient whose leg is broken
screams for pain killers
but I am only kneeling
and asking you to help me
stay alive.
Don't tell me I am being irrational
when you are basing this
on a label only.
I am capable of great rationality:
I can begin by debating this
without calling you an asshole.
Flip the table -- call the burn victim
irrational, and I think you'll find
more volativity.
Listen when my supporters tell you
that I am sunshine
poured over candy
-- they are telling you
this is not me. Hear us:
I am bubbled laughter,
naivety and gentleness--
I do art and beauty
10 Myths For 10 Mythics1. To Gaia:
Fatherhood is more
than a spilt seed;
it is not defined by organs
clenched in ecstacy,
the grind of one against another,
or the budding germination.
Fatherhood is a love
that doesn't fade,
school concerts endured
instead of a football match--
fatherhood is the moments
he chooses the child
over himself.
2. Medusa:
Loose your talons,
snake-witch,
his heart is here and I
won't let your poison
stain him; you will wish
for manticores with stings
smaller than mine
should you shatter
the peace we have built.
3. To the Valley-walker:
Like Alke, spirit
of courage, you dip
formless
into the styx,
and arise.
Your burdens
shame Atlas but you
shape yourself
with the wings of pegasi
and the arms of
thousands. Like Hestia
you are more than you seem.
These memories
will not break you,
and the roots of you
grow strong and beautiful.
Hercules and Demeter
might be famous
but you stand with Syrinx:
precious hero,
you matter.
4.To my little Ares boy:
Your heart has beat with mine
since the firs

(March 13, September 24)

Daily Lit Deviations during 2013
Your Non-Existent CompetitionMy fingers hover over numbers I have not needed to think about for years, and I urge myself to make the call. Still hesitant, I pick out the digits that still translate to "home" in my mobile, though for years it has been only a house; sometimes mine, sometimes not. It rings once and I hang up, then try again and again and again. Third time might be the charm, but today it takes five of these hang ups before I stay on the line.
"Sorry," I say, knowing I don't sound very convincing but banking on the notoriously bad reception we get here to tick it over into believeable. "Sorry. I bet you got about a billion missed calls. My 'phone kept cutting out, you know what it's like." I laugh, an awkward bark that explodes from my mouth like our terrier chasing a cat, and she seems to accept it at face value. "Anyway, happy birthday, hey!"
She thanks me and we meander through the pleasantries she initiates, an elaborate dance of lies we move through every so often. We talk of cheap shops and craf
(we all are the) monarchwe are not born noble.
instead, we are thrust out
squalling and naked,
feather-dust fur instead of wings
and crowns built of flesh & bone.
still,
as the caterpillar into her chrysalis
we begin lowly that we may grow.

(November 17, October 13)

I Am Not Your ReceptacleI am not your receptacle,
not your Grand Canyon
to feed with the echoes
you hunger for.
See me!
I wear a three o'clock shadow,
and vodka stained walls
starved of the things
you're asking for.
See me! See the person-
I am not your echoing chasm!
See me!
You cannot pour juice
from an empty jug.

(January 30)

Artist Reviews & Compliments




Artist Reviews and Compliments


(aka, people say really nice things about me and I don't want to ever forget them):

bloodawni is an incredible ray of sunshine. Regardless of the hardships she has confronted and continues to take charge of, she manages to bring smiles to the faces of so many and brightens our lives just by being here. On top of all this, she has an intensely breathtaking poetic style that holds audiences captive, and strikes straight at the heart.
Great work, Dawni. Please don't ever give up on your dreams.
-- by a wonderful deviant who chose to remain anonymous -- dACompliments.

You are a bundle of wonder and goodness. Whenever I see you doing something it's with determination and love. You are bounding and exuding such a positive, lovely energy that is truly remarkable. We've only just started to get to know each other, but I all ready know that you are an amazing person who strives to help others. ♥ -- by the beautiful and amazing IrrevocableFate.

bloodawni has always been a really kind and caring person, on top of being really talented with such moving and inspiring poems. Just as inspiring is the strength and determination to carry on in life rather than get her down. Even in her 'down' moments, she never gives up and never lets its affect her optimistic side, something which takes courage as well as strength.
Thank you for being such a wonderful and inspiring friend :hug: Keep up the good work
-- by a wonderful deviant who chose to remain anonymous -- dACompliments.

*bloodawni is a talented and modest individual with a heart of gold. -- by a wonderful deviant who chose to remain anonymous -- dACompliments.

*bloodawni is one of the kindest and bravest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. On top of which, she is incredibly talented! Definitely a deviant you should know. :heart: -- by the lovely RiseandBe

"~bloodawni, while a fairly new addition to my own watch list, has ensnared me in the beauty of her words and left me wanting--needing--more. There's a sense of real life to her pieces that is bound to leave readers breathless; the emotions pouring from each word is enough to knock a reader over and make it hard to get back up until the end. With a kind heart and an enthusiasm for participation that can't be beat, ~bloodawni is one deviant you should definitely keep an eye on!" -- by the beautiful TwilightPoetess

Dawniface, you are one of my favorite people here on deviantART. You have so much strength, courage, and love in your heart. You are such a beautiful person and your poetry is almost as good as your pure heart. But, not a lot of things compare to your loving spirit, lovely Dawni. You are an amazing person and I love you. :heart: You inspire me to give more love everyday. :love: -- by the wonderful chromeantennae

Groups

Friends

Activity


Every time I go through my message centre, I find new people to watch. This is really not helping me get on top of things. People need to stop being such excellent artists. ;)

deviantID

camelopardalisinblue's Profile Picture
camelopardalisinblue
Dawni
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Australia


I've written this several times, apparently writing about myself is difficult. ;) I caved and asked my partner to help.

30s -- female -- Aussie (Caboolture, Queensland) -- defacto -- diagnosed with mental illness -- mother to 2 butterfly children -- crazy/weird/'special' (not to be confused with the aforementioned mental illness) -- cheerful -- loving -- cheeky -- friendly.


Stamped:

Mental health awareness stamp by Superspud Prevent Child Abuse by A-Sent-Miracle ++ Self-Injury - Stamp by dimruthien ++ BPD Awareness by dimruthien
TWLOHA Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Stop Domestic Violence by f0rtunatef00l PTSD stamp by shadowlight-oak Mother of angels - stamp by xpekalx
Pregnancy-N-Infant Loss Month by jenepooh Stamp: Love Commenters by Flame-of-the-Phoenix Love Stamp by Kezzi-Rose STAMP: Giraffes by zungzwang
TARDIS Stamp by Kezzi-Rose I Foster Animals: Stamp by camelopardalisinblue Reply Comments Stamp by Mirz123 ARK Support Stamp by Mirz123
I support BurdenedHearts by BloodshotInk Calendar Project Stamp by ginkgografix


I believe in a llama for a llama, but I don't watch people simply because they're watching me & I don't do fav-for-fav trades. Please don't feel obliged to fav my work or watch me just because I gave you a random llama/fav/comment/whatnot. Fav or watch me because you like my work by all means, though! :)

PS, a million, billion thank-yous to the wonderful SilverInkblot who made the pretty boxes for me.
Interests

Isn't anybody doing anything for NaHaiWriMo this year? 

35%
8 deviants said Can I have a cookie? (Yes, you can have a cookie.)
30%
7 deviants said I don't even know what NaHaiWriMo is.
22%
5 deviants said I haven't heard anything...
13%
3 deviants said I'm going to comment or note you to tell you something that's happening!


First off, I'd like to say I'm very sorry about my unscheduled, unannounced, un-anythinged break of the last few months. It started with being unwell and spiralled into very unwell, and just as I started getting better, I got incredibly busy trying to get things in order for Christmas and a three week holiday interstate!

I'm home now, and much more myself than I was before I disappeared here. Unfortunately, because I was gone for so long (and to minimise my stress levels in returning), I've had to do a mass delete of most of my inbox. This includes notes people sent about prizes I owed them. It was simply too overwhelming for me to come back with that on my head, so if you're someone who is waiting on a prize from me and you still want one, please do get in contact again and I'll do my best.

Since I've done a mass delete of just about everything, I've missed all your wonderful artworks since about October last year. That makes me sad, so I'm begging you -- if you read this, please leave a comment with thumbnails of your best pieces between October and now! dA only lets you leave five thumbnails per comment, but I'm happy with up to five thumbnails per month (so a total of 20 thumbnails), so feel free to leave several comments if you want to!

On Thanking

Please consider giving me a llama rather than thanking me if that's what you're here for (and know that if I haven't already given you one, I do reciprocate), but you're very welcome either way. :heart:

Feel free, also, to start up a random conversation!

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconcarelesschild:
CarelessChild Featured By Owner 2 days ago  New member Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the llama! :) I shall raise him as my own.
Reply
:iconassureastheskyisblue:
assureastheskyisblue Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Thank you for the cake :P We haven't spoken in ages, but I hope you're doing well :heart:
Reply
:iconcarpedraco:
CarpeDraco Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015
Nobu Llama Thanks plz

Llama fella (Badges)

Also, greetings from South Gippsland, in Victoria!  :)
Reply
:iconthe-artist-incognito:
The-Artist-Incognito Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the llama! I really appreciate it =)
Reply
:iconrickyvt31:
Rickyvt31 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  New member Professional General Artist
Thank you such forr the llama
Reply
:iconmonkeemanfan64:
monkeemanfan64 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015
thanks for the :iconllama-plz:!
Reply
:icondkenreeks:
dkenreeks Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Professional Writer
Thanks for the llama!
I'll see your llama, and raise you a watch!
Stay Deviant!
--RKJ
Reply
:iconpailei:
Pailei Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on your honorable mention in the NaPoWriMo contest! :)
Reply
:icondeadlyintrospect:
deadlyintrospect Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015   General Artist
llamaaa
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